Cacophony
by iTrippedandfellforyou
Summary: AU. Being alone with Gilbert in a humid car while the albino... made noises of a sexual nature every time innocent townspeople passed by, somehow, wasn't high on Elizaveta's to do list. Why did the guy have to have such a weird sense of humor anyway?


**Title: Cacophony**

**Author/Artist: blackwingsblueeyes**

**Words: 1, 635**

**Character(s)/Pairing(s): Prussia (Gilbert)/Hungary (Elizaveta). Austria (Roderich).**

**Rating: T**

**Warnings: Hehe... -nervous chuckle-... Sexual references, nothing explicit. **

**Summary: AU. Somehow, being alone with Gilbert in a humid car while the albino... made noises of a sexual nature whenever innocent townspeople walked by was not high on Elizaveta's to do list. Slight PrussiaxHungary.**

**A/N: Uh, this one was inspired by my brother XD **

**Enjoy!**

**Cacophony**

"_Oh yes... Ooh, baby, yes."_

The elderly couple passing by paused mid-step, turning and looking straight at Elizaveta for a moment, scandalized expressions on both their faces, before they shook their heads and resumed walking into the Blockbuster. As soon as the door closed shut behind them, a boisterous cackle could be heard from the backseat of the car.

"Their faces..." Gilbert choked out breathlessly. "The looks ... on their faces ... were priceless..." He laughed some more, doubling over and clutching at his stomach.

Elizaveta sighed, trying _(and failing) _not to smile. Really, this kind of thing was so immature ... and so like Gilbert.

She hoped that Roderich would come out of the store soon. Tonight's movie was his choice, and she understood that he wanted to take his fine time to choose, but _really_, this was getting ridiculous. Being alone with Gilbert in a hot car _(with the windows rolled down, otherwise she probably would have had a heat stroke by now) _while the albino ... made _noises of a sexual nature _every time innocent townspeople walked by was not high on Elizaveta's to do list.

No, really, it wasn't.

The Hungarian didn't find the situation the least bit funny. She was only laughing ... at how _ludicrous _the whole thing was, that's all.

"_Ahn... more... come on, sweetcheeks, harder..."_

Elizaveta felt heat rising to her cheeks, reaching back and whacking Gilbert's knee hard, as a middle-aged man actually stopped walking, looked around, and positively _leered _when he saw her in the front seat of the car_ (the moronic Prussian effectively hidden in the backseat)_. The Hungarian huffed, crossing her arms over her chest while she glared daggers at the man until he finally broke eye contact and started walking across the parking lot again. He had a little more swagger to his steps than a moment ago, swaying his hips lightly.

Uncouth perverts, the lot of them.

Looking around to find no one else in the parking lot anymore, Elizaveta twisted around in her seat, her expression fierce, but the spark in her emerald eyes betraying just a little bit of amusement. "Cut it out, will you? Everyone must think I'm some sort of weirdo."

Gilbert still hadn't quite stopped laughing, so his voice held a musical hint to it as he spoke. "... But Eliz, the way you're laying there makes it all the more perfect."

Even more blood redirected upwards to Elizaveta's cheeks, as she lifted her feet off the dashboard and hugged her knees to her chest. The albino really had to be a pervert if he had found anything _remotely sexual _about her position. She had only been laying back in the seat, thighs spread and knees bent as she rested her feet on the dashboard. That was an innocuous arrangement... right?

Flustered, she reached for the lever on the seat to pull her back into a sitting position, but the albino's hand shot out and stopped her. His fingers wrapped around hers, guiding the hand back up to rest on her stomach. He rested his cheek next to hers, leaning forward from the backseat, breath tingling her cheek and fluttering her hair.

"Come on, don't spoil the fun."

"... Whatever," she mumbled, resting her feet back on the dashboard, but not quite in the same way as before, feeling oddly self-conscious all of a sudden.

Stupid Gilbert, for making her feel awkward. Why did the guy have to have such a weird sense of humor anyway?

Because really, she was talking about the same guy who had stalked attractive teenage girls at the mall, following them around with a whoopee cushion and making farty sounds when no one was looking.

_Yeah, that was her Gilbert_.

"_Ooh... ahhh... yeah, baby... " _He spoke right into her ear, frying all the cells of her brain. Elizaveta's eyes fluttered closed for a moment. _"... Stick it right there..."_

Green eyes widening again in alarm, Elizaveta blindly clamped her hand over the albino's mouth as a little girl, no older the ten, and her mother brushed right past their car. The look the woman shot at Elizaveta almost made the Hungarian fear for her life. But the mother only quickened her steps, dragging the child with her, muttering all the while.

"... Jeez, Gilbert! That was a little girl! You're corrupting the children now, quit it already!"

"Mghmp." His lips were moving underneath her fingers, but she couldn't understand what he was trying to say.

"No more talking. You're going to sit there, like the good little boy that I know is somewhere deep down inside of you, until Roderich comes back. Understood?" _How long does it take to pick out one movie, anyway? _Elizaveta loved her Austrian friend, truly she did, but why did he have to leave her with this... _this_ _twat?_

"Mghhpmhmp." His words were still muffled by her hand.

"No more, I'm not letting go until you - "

"_Mmmmm..." _Gilbert's moan caught her off guard, this one louder than any of his previous attempts. He was using his actual voice now, not some pathetic attempt at a woman's. Elizaveta's whole being fluttered, not just her stomach.

Elizaveta flushed, cheeks darkening once again.

"Stop it, Gilbert, it's not funny anym - "

_Another moan. _There was something deeper about this one, the albino almost sounded... _convincing_. Her cheeks blazed as she felt his hot breath on the palm of her hand.

"Jesus, Gilbert, this is - "

His teeth. She could feel his teeth teasingly nip at her skin, clamping down gently and sucking lazily. She couldn't help it, she thought she heard herself groan.

Sanguine eyes traveled up her torso to seek out hers. There was something about those darkened burgundy pools, maybe the brief flash of inspiration that passed through them, that made the Hungarian's pulse stutter and then quicken.

She hadn't thought to pull her hand away.

She could feel his lips traveling, straining to kiss each of the sensitive insides of her fingers. He lingered for a half a second longer on her ring finger, parting his lips, teeth grazing it carelessly, before he moved on.

Rattled, Elizaveta just managed to catch the mischievous glint that lit up his eyes. And then he _licked_ her.

Tongue traveling languidly over her palm in one slick motion, he swirled the tip over that ring finger, taking the whole thing into his mouth _(damn those people with no gag reflex)_. It took all of two seconds for the situation to sink in, and then Elizaveta squealed, frantically shaking her hand to get him off.

Gilbert hung on determinedly, head bobbing, teeth clamping down just hard enough to keep hold of the finger but not enough to hurt her. Elizaveta screwed her eyes shut, odd noises of distress still making their way out of her lips.

His mouth. Her finger. In his mouth. The stupid, absolutely _wicked _tongue of his.

_... why didn't she feel the least bit disgusted? She was embarrassed, yes, but not sickened by it. What was wrong with her?!_

"Get off! Getoff! Getoffgetoff! ...Oh my god, _GILBERT_!"

After a few more swirly licks, the albino actually listened to her, surprisingly enough. He released the digit with a slight _pop_, trademark smirk flowing freely on his lips and in his eyes.

And _no_, Elizaveta didn't feel the least bit disappointed. Not at all. Zip, zero, _no trace of it_. None.

Chucking smugly at whatever expression he seemed to find on her face, Gilbert taunted her, "I knew I could get you to scream my name."

**Fin.**

**-laughs- My brother actually did this to me today. Well, not the last part, but he did make perverted noises in the back of our car and then hid whenever someone looked our way. Some of the looks people gave me were ... interesting, to say the least o.O**

**I love my brother, I really do. He can be my ultimate comic relief **_**(and my biggest headache at the same time)**_**. **

**And I'm looking for a beta. Or even just a reader who wants to point out all my mistakes, that would be great C: I'm not a very good editor, so any help would be much appreciated.**

**So, um, review, please? -smiles hopefully-**


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